I read the Twilight series 20 years too late. Here is my review of Breaking Dawn.
Ok listen. I know that I said one of my goals this year was to write more. And I was doing a really great job of that when I was essentially unemployed. And then I got a job, a wonderful job at the library that I love, a fantastic job that keeps me so so busy.
In this position, I am taking a loootttt of classes on how to work in a library and how to do all the library things. One of those things is Readers Advisory, or the process of helping people find books to read. This class that I’m taking on RA suggests that just talking about books with people makes you a better advisor, and they recommend writing reviews for books as one of the ways to practice that.
Now I have a Goodreads account and a StoryGraph account (which I prefer), so I’m no stranger to writing reviews. But my reviews aren’t really… reviews, I guess. Just a couple of thoughts I have, a couple sentences, maybe a paragraph at most. Of course, I generally have far more thoughts than those. But I think that, for some reason, my thoughts and opinions might somehow be wrong, which prevents me from talking much more about the books I read. Which, in turn, gives me less practice really discussing the books and all the elements that I might pick up on to point other readers towards. At the end of the day, it’s all opinions, and because I felt a book was too fast-paced or the characterization was flat doesn’t mean that’s wrong, it just means that’s my opinion.
So, I want to write more, and I want to write about books more. I want to improve my skills when it comes to knowing what draws readers in and what turns readers off. And I guess I’m starting this with a pretty bad book.
I recently decided that my decades long aversion to the Twilight series was maybe a little dramatized, and that I should maybe give it a chance now that it’s been about 20 years since the books and movies came out. As a staunch (and now former) H*rry P*tter fan (and fuck JK Rowling), I stood firm on my soapbox in the belief that Twilight was terrible and awful and a cheap ripoff of my favorite wizarding boy series and also that Kirsten Stewart and Robert Pattinson were talentless losers. (I’m so sorry, KStew and RPatz, you weren’t bad actors, it was just bad writing. Or maybe KStew’s heart just wasn’t in the role of a straight, boring girl now that she’s come out as cool and queer and interesting.)
Anyway. I started with the movies, because it was winter and I was working like three nights a week and had nothing to do. And after thoroughly enjoying how corny and early-2000s-nostalgic the movies were, I decided to give the books a try.
I’ve read the first three. This is just my review of the final book in the series, Breaking Dawn. My previous reviews can be summed up as “God I can’t stand Jacob” and “Needs more Alice”.
That being said…commence the review.
Breaking Dawn could and should have been two separate books, or at least one book without all the drawn out plotlines intended to build suspense but just left me waiting for something to happen. I think a lot of people felt this book was decently paced, and I agree to the extent that it was full of things happening, but it just felt impossibly long and even though it kept me reading, I was just waiting and waiting and waiting for the climax and it just kept getting prolonged.
And honestly! If we’re looking for things to cut, I could have done without Jacob’s entire section! Actually, I think this book would have been okay if it weren’t for Jacob’s POV in the middle there. In fact, why don’t we just get rid of Jacob entirely? I seriously can’t stand this guy and his weird manipulation tactics, and don’t even get me started on the whole imprinting thing. I was made to believe for MANY years that it wasn’t “that weird or anything” but nah this is straight up grooming. Get AWAY from her!!!!
And on the topic of Jacob’s POV, maybe it was because I listened to the audiobook, but I could absolutely not decipher when the pack was in their human form or in their wolf form. I just found myself incredibly confused trying to picture what was happening at all times during this part of the book. Seth Clearwater, you can stay though. I like you.
As for the rest of the book, all I can really say is that it was severely lacking Alice Cullen. Alice Cullen, my beloved. Maybe I would have liked this book more if we got Alice’s perspective instead of Jacob’s. Sure, sure, then the whole surprise would have been ruined of why Alice left and we, the readers, wouldn’t be in the dark the same as the rest of the Cullens, but whateverrrrrr. Whatever!!!
Vampire Bella was an improvement for sure and I liked the exploration of her powers, though. I know a lot of people can’t stand the main three characters, but I can put up with Bella being boring and dumb because I love supporting women’s wrongs, and Edward, while also giving me weird groomer vibes, is more forgivable because at least he’s perpetually 17. I also appreciate that he’s the voice of reason, cuz this trio needs it. But can we talk about the fact that he’s like… sure Jacob, if it makes my wife happy, she can have your babies. Bro WHAT! I mean like I’m all for a throuple but Edward ur crazyyyy.
And on the topic of babies, listen. I know this horse is 20 years past dead, so if there’s anything left to beat, it’s bones at this point. But Renesmee, as a name, is despicable. It’s almost as bad as, gag, EJ. And god bless me for thinking at first that EJ was short for Edward Junior. No, sweet Nicole, it is so, so much worse than that. Edward Jacob is absolutely, utterly, completely batshit insane. Sure, let’s name the baby after my husband and my “friend” who’s obsessively in love with me and manipulates me into staying friends because we’re all toxic and messy and have no boundaries. Let’s continue to make this as insane as possible.
This book was crazy. This book was not good. Now, does this mean I’ll never read it again? Perhaps not. I, surprisingly, loved this series, even though it was mostly awful. The first book was remarkably enjoyable, and I really liked Eclipse as well. New Moon I could have done without (#1 Jacob Hater), and at least the Breaking Dawn movies were good. But, somewhat regrettably, I am now a Twilight fan. A Twi-hard one might say. I love this series and I can’t wait to watch it all again on my first cold November night. Re-reading the books, though, might be a bit more few and far between.
for art’s sake 